A GRAIN OF WHEAT

On Sunday we begin our small discussion/prayer group again called BeCome. This session will be on…well, I’m not too sure. It was supposed to be on finding your inner mystic, but we were sent the wrong books. But I’m sure it will be a great class, as it always is. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on anything interesting. I’ve been on vacation this week and haven’t really felt up to writing. Sorry to all of my dedicated readers, which is only myself. Does that mean that I spend all this time talking to myself?

When did prayer get so complicated? When I was a kid I would get on my knees and say a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers and feel like I had communicated with God. Now that I am older, and perhaps wiser (or not), I am painfully aware that my prayer is completely deficient. In prayer, I often feel a lot like a child; I have come before the Father with nothing but my own needs and desires. It is sometimes difficult for me to just rest with God because I often feel like I should be “doing” something. I never realized that resting was such hard work.

I know that my spiritual life must mature with my physical life, but the growing pains can be tough. I guess I’m in the awkward adolescent stage. I’m no longer sure how I should approach God, except, obviously, as a sinner. But by no means am I complaining of this awkwardness. It is precisely because it is uncomfortable that I know I am on the right path. Anyways, I’m sure that no one arrives at the desired Destination in this life. It seems to me that life is a continual struggle to resist sin and move toward God.

I think that line of thought, the constant movement toward God, is what prayer is. It sounds so simple, but we can only go as far as God will bring us. Of course, that opens up an entirely different set of thoughts. Is prayer our doing, or the doing of the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit of course. So in this light, it is not I who prays, rather, it is the Lord who draws me into prayer. I hope that in time the Holy Spirit will lead me into fruitful prayer where I am not concerned about trivial matters, such as what I’m supposed to “do”. I guess that coming before God and being open to the movements of the Holy Spirit is the best that I can hope to achieve.

Some presumptuous notes on suffering:

Suffering brings us closer to God. When we are forced to quit fighting and let God fight for us, we are brought closer to Him.

Suffering keeps us on the path to Heaven. Without a constant reminder that we are not where we want to be, we will become complacent and cease to move forward.

Suffering lets us share in the suffering of Christ Jesus. It allows us to experience, on a very small scale, what the Lord endured for us.

Suffering is a means of escape. When we find that nothing in this world will permanently alleviate our suffering, we are free from the trappings of this world. We put all reliance on God.

Suffering connects us to all humanity. When we pray for relief from suffering, over time that prayer evolves into prayer for the whole of humanity.

There is nothing like going to confession early on a Friday morning. We all know the significance of Friday and it makes confession extra profound for me, since I have nailed Jesus to the cross on so many occasions. What I really like is seeing everyone (about ten people) gathering for morning Mass. Fridays are so hectic and the quiet of the Church is a stark contrast to the rat race being ran outside. Although I can’t stay for Mass on Fridays, at least I can confess my sins and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament and really prepare my soul for the battle that awaits. TGIF!!!

-God Bless

How did you pay for your last vacation? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car does your neighbor drive? How much do you make a year? Where do you buy your clothes?

I surely hope that you are saying, “None of this is any of your business”. I truly hope that you do not place undue importance on money and material things. You aren’t the kind of person that sees poor people as failures, are you? And I know that you don’t keep score with family and friends; who drives the newest car, who has the biggest house, who visits the nicest places, who has the biggest television? Surely none of that matters to you.

The reason I bring this up is that you hear from many people that America is founded on Christian values, but these same people are fierce advocates of consumerism. How can the one be reconciled with the other? Can a Christian be a constant consumer? No. Let’s be honest. Over-consumption is bad for the human person, the family, and society. We have all been conditioned to think that buying something on credit is as American as apple pie. And unfortunately, it is. Being in debt is the new status symbol. Nothing says that you’ve made it like having a stack of credit card bills. What’s worse is that not only are we going into debt, but we are helping our kids go into debt as well. I mean come on, does your child need to finance his/her first vehicle? Do you really think that credit card will only be used for “emergencies”?

Let me just come out and say it: Consumerism is not Christian. Neither is trying to keep up with the Jones’. And looking down on the poor is so far removed from Christianity that you might as well be worshipping a golden calf. That is essentially what most people are doing anyway; they worship money. Instead of using money wisely to provide for their family and then provide for those who can’t provide for themselves, most people abuse the privilege of having money. They spend and spend and spend until there is nothing left, but at least they can say that they have nice things. Many of these same people who are considered successful by the standards of society are cheating on their spouse, lying on their taxes, or some other form of debauchery. How is this successful? How can we call a man who makes $200,000 a year but has a mistress in three states a success?

I am a banker and I am constantly helping people reorganize things after they spend too much. Rich and poor alike have the same mindset: If you want to be happy, spend, spend, spend. You want to spend? Spend some time praying. Spend time helping the poor. Spend time with your family. Spend some time with God and see how much He loves you. Spend all you want. Just don’t spend money because at the end of the day it really isn’t worth much.

-God bless.

This morning I went to the Perpetual Adoration Chapel from 4:00-5:00. I have volunteered to go and pray there for one hour per week and this was the first hour since I committed. It was a new experience sitting with the Lord while everyone else was still in bed. Although, I must say, I was very sympathetic with Peter and the other apostles because at points I did find it difficult to fight off the sleepiness and concentrate on prayer. But I will be sure to get more sleep before going next week.

My parish is offering some very interesting adult education classes over the course of the next few months. Various experts will be coming in to teach on a particular form of spirituality. We will start with a primer class on Thursday just to introduce us to spirituality in general and the following week we will be learning about Carmelite spirituality. And after the lessons from the Carmelites comes the class that I have been waiting for–the Benedictine class on spirituality.

I don’t know what it is about the Benedictine method that fascinates me, but I am very anxious for the class. I suppose that since I have recently read a few books by monks who practice the Benedictine method then I know just enough to have lots of questions. I really hope to have most of my questions answered and to walk out with a firm grip on how to apply the method to my daily life. As you can see in some of my previous posts, a deeper prayer life is really something for which I am striving.

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted on the classes and share any valuable information that I learn. I really hope that a large number of my fellow parishioners will go to the classes. It is not every day that an opportunity like this arises, at least not in my parish. I’m looking forward to increasing my knowledge and my closeness to God.

God Bless.

I’ve been reading a lot recently about religious life. For some reason, whenever I think of holiness one of the first things that comes to mind is the Carthusian monk praying the divine office. No one knows that he is there except for God. What is it about religious life that gives these people such a strong prayer life and closeness to God? Is it the cloistered lifestyle, or the diligent practice of prayer, or the silence observed at crucial points (if not all the time)? While I do think that all of these things help facilitate a growing relationship with our Lord, I don’t think that they are necessary in achieving holiness.

Take the religious view on work for example. Religious view work as a mix of penance and prayer. They are obedient to the Father and are glad to work. Just about every activity performed by our religious brothers and sisters is a form of prayer. Now, how hard would that be to integrate into the lives of us lay people? Probably not that hard if we could but be obedient. I have often found that money is not always a very strong motivator, but God sure is. I don’t get paid to do housework and give my wife a break, but if I am to reflect the love of Christ then I should sacrifice my own desires out of love. If you open your heart then you can find prayer in just about anything. There are so many opportunities to glorify God and to live as children of God, but how often to we take advantage of those opportunities?

Our religious brothers and sisters view themselves as the leaven of the world; when they sacrifice their own desires and are raised toward God then we all are raised. I certainly agree with this. I am so glad that our religious brothers and sisters are in perpetual prayer for our benefit. I also think that we are all called to be leaven. Whether religious, priest, or lay person, we should all take the world on our shoulders and lift it toward God. It is our duty and our calling.

I have never experienced blatant, face-to-face anti-Catholicism until yesterday. I was helping a nice older lady with her financial needs when she asked me what church I attended. Although I work in a very sterile corporate environment, I’m not shy about my faith, so I told her that I attend the local Catholic parish. She explained that she was a member of the local Pentecostal congregation and proceeded to invite me to her church. I very politely declined explaining that I have been a Catholic since birth and I really love my faith. So far, so good. There really was no harm in the invitation. But her next statement caught me off-guard. She leaned in and almost whispered, “Your priests don’t preach the truth”. Needless to say, I was taken aback.

Unfortunately, I was at work so I was unable to enter into a debate with this woman. I just brushed her off and sent her on her way. But I think her attitude is indicative of the strong anti-Catholic sentiment that is ever-present today, especially among protestants. I have been preparing for the time when I’d have to defend my faith, and I am very sorry that I was hindered from doing so in this instance (don’t get me wrong, I’ve always defended the faith, but not in a clear, learned manner). But I know there will be more attacks on my faith and I’m sure I will be given ample opportunity to put my knowledge to good use.

But, hey, in the future if you want to save me, just throw me a raft. I have the only Church founded by Christ that is handling the salvation of my soul.

Well, my wife had the ultrasound yesterday and we are having another boy! We are excited, to say the least. We also got to see that he is developing well and looks healthy. Now comes the mad dash to prepare for a new baby. I’ll have to put the cradle back together, put together the new crib, dresser, changing table…But it is worth it. I just thank God for the opportunity to work for my children. They truly are a blessing.