A GRAIN OF WHEAT

I am so tired of people who have the “nowadays” faith. You know what I mean. “Nowadays contraception is very practical” or “Nowadays divorce is a fact of life”. Is the faith of long ago no longer the faith of the people? Have we abandoned all sense of faith? Do we no longer believe that the covenants we make with God are indeed binding and that failure on our part to maintain these covenants will result in some very dire consequences? We are so modern and practical that we have effectively thought our way out of having faith.

Poor justification for our actions is a result of the modern tendency to make everything relative. Often when we hear of relative morality we think of very drastic examples, such as the “If it feels good, do it” crowd. But we commit the same folly almost daily. How many women say that the Church is wrong about birth control because birth control wasn’t very common when the teaching was put forth (not true, birth control has been around for a very long time)? Or how many people say that these days it is good to live with your future spouse so that you can see if you are compatible? We want to view Church teachings through the prism of modernity, but these teachings are eternal and universal. God is not subject to the rules of time, and neither are his expectations of us.

It is time that we return to the simple faith that we are meant to have. We must be like children. Sound familiar? We need to be innocent and trust that God’s Word has provided all that we need to know for salvation. We must not inject our own opinions into Church teachings. The Law of God has not changed over time, so why do we feel compelled to try and change it? There are no “penumbras” with God’s Law. It is what it is. If only we could be like children and walk with love and obedience.

-God bless.

Nothing to write on the small group discussion from yesterday. I didn’t go because we couldn’t get a sitter for our son. My wife went, but she hasn’t yet filled me in on everything. But there is always next week.

Alright, my small discussion group session certainly did not unfold as I thought it would. The topic, which is meant to make the Lenten season more real, is called “Lenten Longing”, which I suppose means the longing for God that one experiences in the “desert”. I really like this topic because I think that it naturally leads one to closer self-examination and scrutiny. Ultimately, time in the spiritual desert should bring one to realize that one is utterly dependent on God for everything. This is a very deep and serious topic, yet the discussion was very superficial and not even close to the heart of the matter.

Most people in the group, I think, really misunderstood what is meant by the “desert”. Most of the people who offered some form of conversation seemed to equate the spiritual desert with a physical dilemma. For example, if I were to say “I had a very hard time at work. No one was taking my suggestions seriously and this was the desert for me” you would be inclined to correct me, or just roll your eyes. The desert is a very real place where you come face to face with yourself as you really are and it is usually not dependent on outside forces. It diminishes the reality of Christ being tempted in the desert if we are to call our trivial misfortunes a “desert experience”. In fact, I would venture to say that a person who has experienced the agony, harshness, solitude and blessing of the spiritual desert would never equate such trivial, worldly happenings with the eye opening experience of seeing yourself as you really are; as God sees you.

Now don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that a severe physical occurrence cannot produce an utter dependence on God. I’m simply saying that those experiences are not in and of themselves what we call “desert” experiences. The desert, although very real for Christ, is a spiritual experience for us. We need to move past this over-concern for our materialistic pursuits and see what really matters. We need to see that our utter dependence on God is very, very real. Every breath we take is a gift, and that is not just some sentimental thought. The fact that we continue to exist is a constant gift from God, because he hasn’t just given us life once, it is a constant gift.

I don’t want to seem like I’m splitting hairs, but I think that it is important for us to understand the significance of the desert experience. The whole point of this class is to grow closer to God, to grow stronger in faith, and to deepen our spirituality. In order to do these things, we have to move from the surface to a deeper level of understanding. And trust me, I understand nothing. I am not a theologian or a spiritual master, but I do think that there is more to trusting God and loving God than worrying about who was mean to me.

On Sunday we begin our small discussion/prayer group again called BeCome. This session will be on…well, I’m not too sure. It was supposed to be on finding your inner mystic, but we were sent the wrong books. But I’m sure it will be a great class, as it always is. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on anything interesting. I’ve been on vacation this week and haven’t really felt up to writing. Sorry to all of my dedicated readers, which is only myself. Does that mean that I spend all this time talking to myself?

When did prayer get so complicated? When I was a kid I would get on my knees and say a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers and feel like I had communicated with God. Now that I am older, and perhaps wiser (or not), I am painfully aware that my prayer is completely deficient. In prayer, I often feel a lot like a child; I have come before the Father with nothing but my own needs and desires. It is sometimes difficult for me to just rest with God because I often feel like I should be “doing” something. I never realized that resting was such hard work.

I know that my spiritual life must mature with my physical life, but the growing pains can be tough. I guess I’m in the awkward adolescent stage. I’m no longer sure how I should approach God, except, obviously, as a sinner. But by no means am I complaining of this awkwardness. It is precisely because it is uncomfortable that I know I am on the right path. Anyways, I’m sure that no one arrives at the desired Destination in this life. It seems to me that life is a continual struggle to resist sin and move toward God.

I think that line of thought, the constant movement toward God, is what prayer is. It sounds so simple, but we can only go as far as God will bring us. Of course, that opens up an entirely different set of thoughts. Is prayer our doing, or the doing of the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit of course. So in this light, it is not I who prays, rather, it is the Lord who draws me into prayer. I hope that in time the Holy Spirit will lead me into fruitful prayer where I am not concerned about trivial matters, such as what I’m supposed to “do”. I guess that coming before God and being open to the movements of the Holy Spirit is the best that I can hope to achieve.

Some presumptuous notes on suffering:

Suffering brings us closer to God. When we are forced to quit fighting and let God fight for us, we are brought closer to Him.

Suffering keeps us on the path to Heaven. Without a constant reminder that we are not where we want to be, we will become complacent and cease to move forward.

Suffering lets us share in the suffering of Christ Jesus. It allows us to experience, on a very small scale, what the Lord endured for us.

Suffering is a means of escape. When we find that nothing in this world will permanently alleviate our suffering, we are free from the trappings of this world. We put all reliance on God.

Suffering connects us to all humanity. When we pray for relief from suffering, over time that prayer evolves into prayer for the whole of humanity.

There is nothing like going to confession early on a Friday morning. We all know the significance of Friday and it makes confession extra profound for me, since I have nailed Jesus to the cross on so many occasions. What I really like is seeing everyone (about ten people) gathering for morning Mass. Fridays are so hectic and the quiet of the Church is a stark contrast to the rat race being ran outside. Although I can’t stay for Mass on Fridays, at least I can confess my sins and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament and really prepare my soul for the battle that awaits. TGIF!!!

-God Bless

How did you pay for your last vacation? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car does your neighbor drive? How much do you make a year? Where do you buy your clothes?

I surely hope that you are saying, “None of this is any of your business”. I truly hope that you do not place undue importance on money and material things. You aren’t the kind of person that sees poor people as failures, are you? And I know that you don’t keep score with family and friends; who drives the newest car, who has the biggest house, who visits the nicest places, who has the biggest television? Surely none of that matters to you.

The reason I bring this up is that you hear from many people that America is founded on Christian values, but these same people are fierce advocates of consumerism. How can the one be reconciled with the other? Can a Christian be a constant consumer? No. Let’s be honest. Over-consumption is bad for the human person, the family, and society. We have all been conditioned to think that buying something on credit is as American as apple pie. And unfortunately, it is. Being in debt is the new status symbol. Nothing says that you’ve made it like having a stack of credit card bills. What’s worse is that not only are we going into debt, but we are helping our kids go into debt as well. I mean come on, does your child need to finance his/her first vehicle? Do you really think that credit card will only be used for “emergencies”?

Let me just come out and say it: Consumerism is not Christian. Neither is trying to keep up with the Jones’. And looking down on the poor is so far removed from Christianity that you might as well be worshipping a golden calf. That is essentially what most people are doing anyway; they worship money. Instead of using money wisely to provide for their family and then provide for those who can’t provide for themselves, most people abuse the privilege of having money. They spend and spend and spend until there is nothing left, but at least they can say that they have nice things. Many of these same people who are considered successful by the standards of society are cheating on their spouse, lying on their taxes, or some other form of debauchery. How is this successful? How can we call a man who makes $200,000 a year but has a mistress in three states a success?

I am a banker and I am constantly helping people reorganize things after they spend too much. Rich and poor alike have the same mindset: If you want to be happy, spend, spend, spend. You want to spend? Spend some time praying. Spend time helping the poor. Spend time with your family. Spend some time with God and see how much He loves you. Spend all you want. Just don’t spend money because at the end of the day it really isn’t worth much.

-God bless.

This morning I went to the Perpetual Adoration Chapel from 4:00-5:00. I have volunteered to go and pray there for one hour per week and this was the first hour since I committed. It was a new experience sitting with the Lord while everyone else was still in bed. Although, I must say, I was very sympathetic with Peter and the other apostles because at points I did find it difficult to fight off the sleepiness and concentrate on prayer. But I will be sure to get more sleep before going next week.

My parish is offering some very interesting adult education classes over the course of the next few months. Various experts will be coming in to teach on a particular form of spirituality. We will start with a primer class on Thursday just to introduce us to spirituality in general and the following week we will be learning about Carmelite spirituality. And after the lessons from the Carmelites comes the class that I have been waiting for–the Benedictine class on spirituality.

I don’t know what it is about the Benedictine method that fascinates me, but I am very anxious for the class. I suppose that since I have recently read a few books by monks who practice the Benedictine method then I know just enough to have lots of questions. I really hope to have most of my questions answered and to walk out with a firm grip on how to apply the method to my daily life. As you can see in some of my previous posts, a deeper prayer life is really something for which I am striving.

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted on the classes and share any valuable information that I learn. I really hope that a large number of my fellow parishioners will go to the classes. It is not every day that an opportunity like this arises, at least not in my parish. I’m looking forward to increasing my knowledge and my closeness to God.

God Bless.