A GRAIN OF WHEAT

Alright, my small discussion group session certainly did not unfold as I thought it would. The topic, which is meant to make the Lenten season more real, is called “Lenten Longing”, which I suppose means the longing for God that one experiences in the “desert”. I really like this topic because I think that it naturally leads one to closer self-examination and scrutiny. Ultimately, time in the spiritual desert should bring one to realize that one is utterly dependent on God for everything. This is a very deep and serious topic, yet the discussion was very superficial and not even close to the heart of the matter.

Most people in the group, I think, really misunderstood what is meant by the “desert”. Most of the people who offered some form of conversation seemed to equate the spiritual desert with a physical dilemma. For example, if I were to say “I had a very hard time at work. No one was taking my suggestions seriously and this was the desert for me” you would be inclined to correct me, or just roll your eyes. The desert is a very real place where you come face to face with yourself as you really are and it is usually not dependent on outside forces. It diminishes the reality of Christ being tempted in the desert if we are to call our trivial misfortunes a “desert experience”. In fact, I would venture to say that a person who has experienced the agony, harshness, solitude and blessing of the spiritual desert would never equate such trivial, worldly happenings with the eye opening experience of seeing yourself as you really are; as God sees you.

Now don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that a severe physical occurrence cannot produce an utter dependence on God. I’m simply saying that those experiences are not in and of themselves what we call “desert” experiences. The desert, although very real for Christ, is a spiritual experience for us. We need to move past this over-concern for our materialistic pursuits and see what really matters. We need to see that our utter dependence on God is very, very real. Every breath we take is a gift, and that is not just some sentimental thought. The fact that we continue to exist is a constant gift from God, because He hasn’t just given us life once, it is a constant gift.

I don’t want to seem like I’m splitting hairs, but I think that it is important for us to understand the significance of the desert experience. The whole point of this class is to grow closer to God, to grow stronger in faith, and to deepen our spirituality. In order to do these things, we have to move from the surface to a deeper level of understanding. And trust me, I understand nothing. I am not a theologian or a spiritual master, but I do think that there is more to trusting God and loving God than worrying about who was mean to me.