A GRAIN OF WHEAT

When did prayer get so complicated? When I was a kid I would get on my knees and say a few Hail Marys and Our Fathers and feel like I had communicated with God. Now that I am older, and perhaps wiser (or not), I am painfully aware that my prayer is completely deficient. In prayer, I often feel a lot like a child; I have come before the Father with nothing but my own needs and desires. It is sometimes difficult for me to just rest with God because I often feel like I should be “doing” something. I never realized that resting was such hard work.

I know that my spiritual life must mature with my physical life, but the growing pains can be tough. I guess I’m in the awkward adolescent stage. I’m no longer sure how I should approach God, except, obviously, as a sinner. But by no means am I complaining of this awkwardness. It is precisely because it is uncomfortable that I know I am on the right path. Anyways, I’m sure that no one arrives at the desired Destination in this life. It seems to me that life is a continual struggle to resist sin and move toward God.

I think that line of thought, the constant movement toward God, is what prayer is. It sounds so simple, but we can only go as far as God will bring us. Of course, that opens up an entirely different set of thoughts. Is prayer our doing, or the doing of the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit of course. So in this light, it is not I who prays, rather, it is the Lord who draws me into prayer. I hope that in time the Holy Spirit will lead me into fruitful prayer where I am not concerned about trivial matters, such as what I’m supposed to “do”. I guess that coming before God and being open to the movements of the Holy Spirit is the best that I can hope to achieve.

Some presumptuous notes on suffering:

Suffering brings us closer to God. When we are forced to quit fighting and let God fight for us, we are brought closer to Him.

Suffering keeps us on the path to Heaven. Without a constant reminder that we are not where we want to be, we will become complacent and cease to move forward.

Suffering lets us share in the suffering of Christ Jesus. It allows us to experience, on a very small scale, what the Lord endured for us.

Suffering is a means of escape. When we find that nothing in this world will permanently alleviate our suffering, we are free from the trappings of this world. We put all reliance on God.

Suffering connects us to all humanity. When we pray for relief from suffering, over time that prayer evolves into prayer for the whole of humanity.

There is nothing like going to confession early on a Friday morning. We all know the significance of Friday and it makes confession extra profound for me, since I have nailed Jesus to the cross on so many occasions. What I really like is seeing everyone (about ten people) gathering for morning Mass. Fridays are so hectic and the quiet of the Church is a stark contrast to the rat race being ran outside. Although I can’t stay for Mass on Fridays, at least I can confess my sins and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament and really prepare my soul for the battle that awaits. TGIF!!!

-God Bless

How did you pay for your last vacation? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car does your neighbor drive? How much do you make a year? Where do you buy your clothes?

I surely hope that you are saying, “None of this is any of your business”. I truly hope that you do not place undue importance on money and material things. You aren’t the kind of person that sees poor people as failures, are you? And I know that you don’t keep score with family and friends; who drives the newest car, who has the biggest house, who visits the nicest places, who has the biggest television? Surely none of that matters to you.

The reason I bring this up is that you hear from many people that America is founded on Christian values, but these same people are fierce advocates of consumerism. How can the one be reconciled with the other? Can a Christian be a constant consumer? No. Let’s be honest. Over-consumption is bad for the human person, the family, and society. We have all been conditioned to think that buying something on credit is as American as apple pie. And unfortunately, it is. Being in debt is the new status symbol. Nothing says that you’ve made it like having a stack of credit card bills. What’s worse is that not only are we going into debt, but we are helping our kids go into debt as well. I mean come on, does your child need to finance his/her first vehicle? Do you really think that credit card will only be used for “emergencies”?

Let me just come out and say it: Consumerism is not Christian. Neither is trying to keep up with the Jones’. And looking down on the poor is so far removed from Christianity that you might as well be worshipping a golden calf. That is essentially what most people are doing anyway; they worship money. Instead of using money wisely to provide for their family and then provide for those who can’t provide for themselves, most people abuse the privilege of having money. They spend and spend and spend until there is nothing left, but at least they can say that they have nice things. Many of these same people who are considered successful by the standards of society are cheating on their spouse, lying on their taxes, or some other form of debauchery. How is this successful? How can we call a man who makes $200,000 a year but has a mistress in three states a success?

I am a banker and I am constantly helping people reorganize things after they spend too much. Rich and poor alike have the same mindset: If you want to be happy, spend, spend, spend. You want to spend? Spend some time praying. Spend time helping the poor. Spend time with your family. Spend some time with God and see how much He loves you. Spend all you want. Just don’t spend money because at the end of the day it really isn’t worth much.

-God bless.

This morning I went to the Perpetual Adoration Chapel from 4:00-5:00. I have volunteered to go and pray there for one hour per week and this was the first hour since I committed. It was a new experience sitting with the Lord while everyone else was still in bed. Although, I must say, I was very sympathetic with Peter and the other apostles because at points I did find it difficult to fight off the sleepiness and concentrate on prayer. But I will be sure to get more sleep before going next week.

My parish is offering some very interesting adult education classes over the course of the next few months. Various experts will be coming in to teach on a particular form of spirituality. We will start with a primer class on Thursday just to introduce us to spirituality in general and the following week we will be learning about Carmelite spirituality. And after the lessons from the Carmelites comes the class that I have been waiting for–the Benedictine class on spirituality.

I don’t know what it is about the Benedictine method that fascinates me, but I am very anxious for the class. I suppose that since I have recently read a few books by monks who practice the Benedictine method then I know just enough to have lots of questions. I really hope to have most of my questions answered and to walk out with a firm grip on how to apply the method to my daily life. As you can see in some of my previous posts, a deeper prayer life is really something for which I am striving.

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted on the classes and share any valuable information that I learn. I really hope that a large number of my fellow parishioners will go to the classes. It is not every day that an opportunity like this arises, at least not in my parish. I’m looking forward to increasing my knowledge and my closeness to God.

God Bless.